How (Not) to Get a Job, Part 2

In Part 1, I told you about Grace, the total stranger who pestered me on Facebook rather than take a hint that she wasn't getting a job interview.

And now, in the continuing saga of Things That Probably Won't Get You Hired...

Bachelor #2

One day, heading in to work, I bumped into a guy in the elevator. We'll call him Louis.

Louis asked if I worked for K Company. I said yes. He said, "Oh, that's great. I recently applied for a job there as a film editor. Do you know if they're still hiring?" The film project rang a bell; I thought I remembered one of my coworkers mentioning it. I was feeling generous that day, so I gave him my office number and told him he could call me to follow up. But as we all know, no good deed goes unpunished.

Sure enough, Louis called about a week later. I hadn't had a chance to ask around about it, so I took his e-mail address and told him I'd write him if I heard anything.

Another week or two passed, and I found out that the team in question was still hiring. So I e-mailed Louis and told him that if he sent his resume, I'd be happy to pass it along.

I assumed he would e-mail his resume. Silly me. He wrote back and said, "Great! I'll be over tomorrow morning by 10:30 AM!"

I was like... really? I'm not even the hiring manager. And I certainly didn't invite you to come for a visit. This guy was starting to creep me out a little.

Long story short, I asked our receptionist to run interference if he showed up. Which he did. My imagination had run a bit wild, and I imagined him making a scene when she told him that I was in a meeting. But he simply handed her his resume and left quietly.

The icing on the cake:

• "I thought his name sounded familiar," said our receptionist. "That same guy was here a month ago. He showed up saying he had an interview with Linda" (the hiring manager), "but he didn't have an interview. He had applied for the job, but she had never even contacted him."
  
• Louis e-mailed me again when he got home. "Sorry I missed you," he said. "Thanks for referring me!" Um... Louis, my dear... YOU were the one who told ME about the job, remember? His cover letter, addressed to Linda, also mentioned that I had referred him.

It's Not Your Father's Job Market

At one time, job hopefuls were advised to to "pound the pavement" and visit companies in person to deliver their resumes, in the hope of making a good impression on a potential employer. While that advice may have been fine in 1965, I think it is hopelessly out of date today. Especially in big cities like Chicago, where companies all have keycard access and several layers of security. If you randomly show up, the only employee you're likely to meet is a security guard, whose job is to keep you out, or a receptionist, who may or may not even know the hiring manager or be aware that there is an open position. Perhaps it used to appear assertive, but today, showing up uninvited comes across as weird.

Unless career coaches are now advising applicants to tell outright lies in order to get interviews, I think we can all agree that Bachelor #2 is the nutty one here.

Bonus: Bachelor #3

When I was telling one of my co-workers about Bachelor #2, she related this little gem.

A job applicant (let's call him Gene) had applied to a job that my co-worker was hiring for. He came in for an interview, but afterward, the team was lukewarm about him.

While Gene was waiting to hear whether or not he'd been hired, he decided to pass the time by cyber-stalking my co-worker. He wrote to her, "I saw on Twitter that you are getting married soon! Congratulations!"

Gene did not get the job.