When Bad Grammar Goes Viral

Baby bundt cake? Yes please.

I love everything about Corner Bakery. The sandwiches, the salads, the delicious baked treats, the decor, even the little numbered cards they give you while you wait for your order.

Everything, that is, except for one particular employee at the 440 N. Michigan Ave location. I'll tell you why.

She is a cashier. She stands there, behind her register, taking orders. She's good at her job, as far as I can tell.

But every time she finishes up with one customer, she turns to the waiting line of customers, raises her hand, and yells:

"I CAN HELP THE FOLLOWING GUEST!"

I cringe every time. "NEXT guest, honey," I think at her. "NEXT guest!" As if we are telepathic and she can actually hear my thoughts.

Viral... Like the Plague

It really wouldn't bother me so much if she weren't in such a public-facing job.

She is like a herald from medieval times, calling to the villagers. Except that instead of making helpful announcements, she's spreading the grammatical equivalent of an STD. It's a VTD, a Verbally Transmitted Disease. Who knows how many people she is infecting on a daily basis!

You're under arrest for crimes against grammar!

Alas, there is no grammatical equivalent of the Board of Health. I can't call the Word Usage Police to come and slap her with a fine for crimes against the English language. Except in my head, because that's a funny mental picture. "Ma'am, I'll have to ask you to come with me. You have the right to remain silent, and for the good of us all, please do."

In Other News, I'm Back

And yes, I did come out of hiatus just to blog about her. She may be a grammar criminal, but she was the catalyst to get me writing again.

Plus, I missed writing this blog! Nice to see you all again.