I enjoy Facebook a lot. I’m on there at least once a day. I love reading about what my family, friends, school buddies, and colleagues are up to. The site can function as a dashboard for your social life, or a collection of all the people you ever knew. It can bring you closer to someone who you knew years ago but never realized how much you had in common until you started looking at each other’s updates and links. It can lead you to learn new things and stretch your own worldview. (And I won’t go into my shameful addiction to a particular Facebook game involving matching colored gems.) It’s an all-around great site.
I’m not on Twitter. I understand the concept. I appreciate the challenge of saying what you want to say in 140 characters or less (like a game: how concise and clever can you be within these parameters?). But I’m just not that into it. For me, tweeting would be redundant with the stuff I already post on Facebook.
Is “Interesting” Beside the Point?
If you participate in Facebook, Twitter, or a “short-form publishing” site (as I think of them), you’ve probably experienced one particular down side. Some people’s posts can be… well... a bit insufferable. Everyone has that friend who posts about what they eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day (cereal again, huh?). We all have that friend who posts only about their kid(s) and nothing else. Then there are the ones who post about political causes until they are blue in the face. And let’s not forget the friend who posts so often that you grow weary of hearing about every little detail of their day.
(Don’t get me wrong. I totally understand posting about your kids – it’s hard not to talk about anything that consumes so much of your passion and energy – and I enjoy hearing about other people’s kids, just not incessantly. And I have posted about food, politics, and Bejeweled… okay, you got me… it’s Bejeweled that I am addicted to. But I try not to go overboard with any particular topic.)
Likewise, everyone has Facebook friends who always seem to have neat things to say. If you see their name while scanning down your list of status updates, you almost always pause to read, whereas other friends’ statuses, you might skip over.
I think I see a theme emerging here. If your posts are boring, your friends may get bored. If your posts are interesting, you will get more interaction from your friends who are reading them… and isn’t that the fun part?
Clearly, some people put thought into what they post, and others give it not much thought at all. Some consider their readers more than others, or so it seems. Some edit (in the newspaper-editor sense of thoughtfully choosing what to cover), and some don’t.
Editing Your Own Posts? Really?
I’m sure some people think I’m nuts for even suggesting that someone edit their posts to Facebook or Twitter. After all, these sites are all about you. You post because your friends/followers are interested in what you have to say. Right? So why would you check yourself at all? Why wouldn’t you just say the first thing that pops into your head?
Being an editor by nature, I may be biased here. I edit everything that I say, do, and write. And let me tell you, doing too much of that analysis can be exhausting. It’s not something you want to go too far with.
But I do see value in being thoughtful about what you say. I see value in considering your audience and their interests. These things are valuable whether you’re online or talking to somebody face to face. When you’re talking in person, you don’t just blurt out whatever crosses your mind (at least, most people don’t). Rather, you consider how you will come across.
Rule of Thumb
Here’s my rule of thumb when it comes to these short forms of publishing. If most people’s reaction to what I want to post will be “Who cares?”, then I tend to not post it after all. Or maybe I’ll give it a humorous spin so that at least someone might get a chuckle out of it. I would do the same if addressing a large group of friends at a party or whatever. Who wants to be a bore?
The goal, for me, is not online etiquette. It’s being a dynamic, not-too-self-absorbed member of a social circle. I try to be that way “in real life” (even if I don’t always succeed; nobody’s perfect), and I don’t tend to separate my “real life” from my online life… they’re both real in my book.
To Each Their Own
I feel a bit old-fashioned even suggesting such guidelines. I feel like the millennials will be all, “Whatever, dude. It’s Facebook, not a political speech. Don’t take away my joy.” I feel like an advice columnist discussing social graces. Or like I’m channeling the old book I once saw, hilarious in its dated-ness, about how to be a fascinating conversationalist.
Also, I realize that not everyone uses Facebook the same way. For some, it is a place to blow off steam and say whatever comes into your head. Other people never post much at all, preferring to look at their friends’ photos or play games. Some consider it a core part of their social lives and constantly interact with their friends – it’s this group that I am thinking of the most, because I am part of it.
Am I a throwback here? Do you put much thought into what you say on Facebook and Twitter? Or do you let it all hang out?
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